16 Positive Parenting Phrases to Empower Your Child

Children with ADHD often do not respond well to typical methods of discipline. Punishment, removal of privileges, and time-outs often worsen their problem behaviors. Children with ADHD need to feel capable and experience success before they will be motivated to do a task. Often they get so used to doing a task imperfectly and getting criticized, that they just stop being willing to do a task at all. Enter: Positive Parenting.

In this article, we’ll share 16 phrases to help empower your child.

Positive Parenting Phrases to Empower Your Child

What you say depends on your overall goal. For example, if you ask a child for their help or to express a new rule, you’ll use a different phrase.

If you want to…

… Show faith in your child’s ability

“I have faith in you, Sally. I trust that you can figure out what you need to do. I know because XYZ is important to you, you’ll know what to do.”

… Demonstrate respect for your child

”Sally, I respect your privacy on this matter. I want you to know we, as your parents, are available if you want to discuss this with us when you’re ready.”

… Express your limits

Parenting is filled with opportunities to express your own limits. It can be tempting to swoop in and try to “save” your child from hardships. However, you can empower your child while respecting your own limits at the same time.

Here’s an example of what that sounds like: “I’m not willing to call your teacher to get you out of your homework. When your teacher calls to ask why you’re work is late, I’ll hand the phone to you so that you may discuss it with her.”

Tip: A respectful attitude and tone of voice is key.

…. Listen without judgment

”I would like to hear what this means for you. Can you please elaborate on this?”

…. Set specific limits for your own behavior and actions

In addition to expressing your own limits, you can also set your limits with dignity and respect. This also empowers your child how to respect his or her own limits.

Examples of what this sounds like:

• “I’m willing to take you to the store/library when we plan ahead, but I’m not willing to drop everything and take you there the last minute.”
• “If you need my help with your homework, please don’t ask me at the last minute. Please let me know in advance.”
• “I’m available to help with your science project on Saturday, but I won’t be available to help with last minute details during the week. If you’d prefer, I can help learn some time management skills.”

…. Follow through on your word with firmness and kindness

It can be tempting to abandon your own limits, but you can use this phrase to follow through your word: “I can see you are overwhelmed about waiting until that last minute to work on your science project. I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Remember, I’ll be available Saturday morning to help you.”

Not only does this teach your child that setting and keeping limits is important, but it also empowers your child to preserve and keep working at it.

… Let go of issues without abandoning your child

“I hope you’ll try out for the soccer team, but I’m not sure if it’s that important to you. I’m happy to talk about your thoughts or plans for extracurricular activities anytime you like.”

…. Reach an agreement with your child

“Could we sit down and see if we can work on a plan regarding homework that we both can live with? Let’s put that on the agenda for the family meeting so we can work on an agreement.”

… Affirm your love for your child

“I love you just the way you are and respect you to choose what is right for you.”

… Ask your child for help in understanding

“I need your help in order to understand this. Can you explain to me why it isn’t important to you to do your homework?”

… Share your own feelings

Empower your child to share his or her feelings with this formula:

I feel _______________________ because ______________________

and I wish ________________.

How to empower your child to share their feelings

Teaching your child how to express their emotions and feelings is a great step in teaching emotional regulation.

Here’s an example of what this sounds like:

“I feel frustrated when you don’t do your school work because I value education so much, and think it could be very beneficial to you in your life and I wish you would do it.”

…. Collaborate with problem-solving

“Can you help me understand why you’re struggling to get your homework done on time? Could we brainstorm together on a few possible solutions?”

…. Teach respectful communication

“I am too frustrated and upset to talk about this right now. Let’s talk about this at our next family meeting so we can talk about it when I’m not so emotional.”

…. Share information without nagging your child

“I notice you spend a lot of time watching television and texting during the time you have set aside for homework.”

“I notice you often leave your chores (or homework or studying) until the very last minute and then feel overwhelmed trying to get it done.”

Tip: Always share information with “I” statements — not “you always” statements.

…. Teach your child to learn from his or her mistakes

“I can see that you are upset about getting a C- on your chemistry test. I have faith in you to learn from this and figure out what you need to do to get the grade you would like.”

Parenting Is Hard, But We Can Help!

Are you searching for actionable positive parenting strategies to motivate and encourage your child? In addition to practicing these growth mindset strategies, your child may benefit from professional care.

We’re proud to offer a multidisciplinary and holistic approach to you and your child’s mental health needs. Our team of providers are experts when it comes to effective medication management, parent coaching, and positive parenting strategies to motivate and encourage children with ADHD.

We also offer self-paced online courses for parents.

To make an appointment, call us at 502-907-5908. You can also request an appointment here.