Using Mantras to Reduce Stress

Stress has become a way of life for many of us these days, and the reality is that no one likes to feel stressed.

So what can we do about it?

We touched base with certified health coach Pam Valdes to learn how to manage stress with personal mantras.

Stress has become a way of life for many of us these days. Just take a quick look at any news outlet, and you are instantly bombarded with any number of serious issues, all of which can seriously stress you out. You may or may not have much control over the current crises in your life, but you can take control of the stress. You won’t eliminate stress entirely, but you can learn techniques to manage it, and you can actually learn from the stressors in your life.

Years ago, stress taught me a valuable lesson.

My family and I had made the 8-hour trip to visit my aging parents a few states away. My father had dementia and was in the advanced stages of Parkinson’s. My mother served as his caregiver, an exhausting and often overwhelming role. Upon our arrival, we were shocked to find my mother in worse shape than my dad. She had severely injured her back trying to care for him. During our visit, it became clear that I could not leave them in this situation. I sent my family home while I stayed behind to help. Every day was worse than the one before, and finally my mom was hospitalized. Her doctor made it clear that she could no longer care for my father and would, in fact, need round-the-clock care herself. Within days, she was transferred to a rehab center, where she stayed for two months. We made the difficult decision to move my father to an assisted living facility, as there would be no one to care for him once I returned home.

It was a very emotional time for the entire family. I stayed for a very stressful three weeks trying to take care of everyone and everything. I felt torn in all directions. I cancelled all of my appointments as I tried to handle my parents’ bills and other immediate needs. When I was with my mother, I felt guilty for leaving my father alone and confused in his new surroundings. When I was with my father, I felt guilty for leaving my mom alone and in pain. I felt guilty for not being there for my family back home. It seemed like there were a million difficult decisions to be made every day, and the pressure to make the best decisions weighed on me night and day. My sleep was fitful, and my stomach was in knots. I felt like I was letting everyone down.

Eventually I hit a breaking point and realized I had to make a change. I had a long talk with myself, and I realized that my feelings of intense pressure and guilt, though understandable, were compounding the problems. I asked myself what I would say to my best friend if she were in my situation.

I immediately realized what I wouldn’t say.”

I wouldn’t tell her (or even think) that she was letting everyone down. I wouldn’t tell her she should feel guilty. Instead, I would tell her that she was doing the best she could to handle a difficult situation with love and integrity. I would tell her that her worry was making everything worse and that she needed to take care of herself. I decided right then that, for the sake of all concerned, I needed to treat myself like my own best friend. I developed a mantra that I repeated to myself numerous times a day: “I’m doing the best I can, and that’s good.” Not just OK, but good. I focused on what I could do and on creating quality time with the parent I was with.

It was interesting. Nothing changed, and yet everything changed. When I was with one of my parents, there were more smiles and less worry. I focused on being fully present with them instead of running through the endless “to-do” and “what-if” scenarios in my head. The change was immediate. My parents were happy to see me and hear about each other’s progress. A sense of calm and love permeated our visits. I hadn’t realized how much my stress was bleeding onto them and causing them worry. It was so simple, but for me, it was illuminating.

I’d like to brag and tell you that I’ve never let stress get the best of me in the years since, but that’s not true. However, I am much more likely to catch myself and short-circuit the stress and worry connections in my head. I stop, figure out what I need, and I have that serious talk with myself. Then I create a mantra to repeat to myself as often as needed to reclaim my spot in the driver’s seat of my life and relegate stress to the trunk where it belongs. The stress is still there, but it’s no longer riding on my shoulders.

Create Your Own Mantra and Reduce Stress

You can try this simple technique yourself to create some peace in your life. A mantra may sound mysterious, but it’s simply a word, or words, that are repeated to aid concentration and to guide our thoughts. What we tell ourselves matters – it really matters. That endless loop of thoughts in your head has a direct impact on how you feel and what you do. To be your best you, learn to talk to yourself as you would your best friend. With your mantra, you can create a calm moment, and that moment can be a real catalyst for change.

Here are some tips to create your own powerful mantra:
• Take some time to figure out what thoughts are causing you stress and what you need to hear instead.
• Make it true, not just wishful thinking. If you don’t believe your mantra, it won’t help.
• Keep it brief – maybe even one word, a short sentence at most – something you can easily remember and repeat.
• When you repeat your mantra, take a deep breath, and really absorb the words you say. Don’t allow them to become automatic and meaningless.
• Be flexible. The mantra you choose today may not be the mantra you need tomorrow. Allow your mantra to change as your needs change.

Want a more in-depth training on creating a personal mantra? Tune in here:

About Pam Valdes