Why Punishment Backfires with ADHD Kids

Based on the Positive Discipline approach by Dr. Jane Nelsen

Hi, I’m Dr. Kristi Briscoe.

You didn’t sign up to be a drill sergeant—but sometimes it feels like that’s the only thing that gets results. The problem? Punishment may stop the behavior in the moment, but it doesn’t build skills—and with ADHD kids, it often backfires.

If you’d like to learn more about the Positive Discipline approach, check out Dr. Jane Nelsen’s book Positive Discipline or visit positivediscipline.com.

Here’s what to try when punishment backfires:

1. Stay connected — Kids learn best from people they feel safe with.
2. Teach “do-overs” — Let them try again with support. “Let’s practice asking without
   yelling.”
3. Replace shame with structure — Clear expectations + empathy = better behavior over
   time.
   

ADHD kids aren’t trying to make you miserable. They need discipline that teaches—not discipline that wounds.

This article is for educational purposes only and does not diagnose or treat any condition. Please seek help from a qualified mental health professional if you or a loved one is struggling.